Tunnels
by Jessa4865
Summary: Lilly and Scotty live behind their walls, but sometimes, it's good to break through. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I've been MIA fora while, but I had this idea that wouldn't leave me alone. It's only going to be another part, maybe two. And I will finish The Prey eventually. Really. Please R & R._

Tunnels  
By Jezyk  
Spoilers: Vaguely anything that's aired, but really nothing specific.  
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine; I'm just letting them have some fun. Or not so much.  
Pairing: Lilly/Scotty (consider yourself warned)

Chapter One

The case was hard. It was a bad one. Not that solving the murder of two children could ever really made it better, but sometimes it made him feel a little pride to know that someone who'd thought they'd gotten away with so heinous a crime was finally put away. Sometimes, but not always. Not when it turned out that the murderer had been their father. Not when it turned out that he'd done it because he feared the six- and eight-year-olds would reveal the way he'd abused them.

Scotty took it hard. One of the team usually took a case harder than the others. But that time, Lilly had taken it hard too. The partners had lapsed into a depressed silence as they'd progressed toward the arrest, each one of them too wrapped up in their thoughts to try to draw the other out.

He'd actually taken to carrying a picture of the two girls with him, the way he knew Lilly did with every case. He'd taken one look at the picture - a happy shot in their back yard where they stood with their arms around each other - and been struck with the sadness of it. It had been taken the week before they'd been killed. It wasn't just the tragedy that got him; no, he'd gotten used to that in his time with homicide. It wasn't just the blonde hair and bright blue eyes that wouldn't let him depersonalize the victims. It was the striking physical resemblance of those girls to Lilly and Chris that choked him every time he thought about what had happened to them.

He'd seen it immediately and when he heard the sharp gasp from Lilly, he knew that she'd seen it too. His protectiveness kicked in, wanting to make it right, even though it was impossible. He wanted to fix it for them, the way he wished he could have fixed it for Lilly and Chris. Even though the murdered girls' father had unfortunately been very much in the picture, he learned there were other similarities as well - the poverty, the drunken mother. He despised the woman who'd turned to a bottle to blind herself to what her husband was doing to her daughters just as he despised Lilly's mother for allowing a bottle to blind her to how much her babies needed a mother to love them.

It had been bad, but it was over. He had put the picture back in the box, bumping into Lilly on her way to do the same. But when they'd returned to the office, the mother was waiting for them.

Twenty years had passed, bringing the woman sobriety, a divorce, and the haunted look that revealed the anguish inherent when nature's scheme went awry. Mothers weren't supposed to bury their children; it was meant to work the other way - without her children, she was no longer a mother. She finally had an explanation, but it was clear that time had done nothing to heal her wounds. She was there to thank them for finally finding the answers, even tough the answers hadn't helped. The petite woman pulled a shocked Scotty into a hug; her face pressed comically against his stomach as he awkwardly patted her shoulder. Vera and Jeffries laughed, perpetually amused by Scotty's discomfort regarding overly emotional women. The woman had pulled away and reached out to Lilly, cradling the younger woman's face in both of her hands.

"You remind me of my Beth. You look so much like her."

Lilly's panic was more obvious, more intense, than Scotty's had been and she looked to him for help. The laughter from Vera and Jeffries disappeared as they began to understand what had been bothering Lilly and Scotty. In the silence, Scotty wondered what the woman would think if she ever found out that Lilly's little sister looked just like Beth's younger sister Vicky. If it hadn't been for the gruesome photos of the girls' bodies, Scotty would have wondered if they weren't really the same sisters.

It was only a few moments after the mother left when Lilly muttered something by way of a good night and uncharacteristically left work before anyone else had. Scotty was frozen, staring after his partner and wondering if anyone else had seen the distraught look in her eyes, if anyone else knew as acutely as he did that she wasn't all right, if anyone else would follow her.

He didn't wait to find out. He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and ran down the stairs after her. He hurried, partly to avoid losing her by falling too far behind, but mostly because he feared he'd lose his nerve before he reached her. It wasn't like either of them was particularly open; it was simply that for once he knew what was on her mind and he couldn't let the opportunity to connect with her slip by without trying to reach out to her.

His eyes quickly scanned the lobby, hoping she'd still be there. His shoes squeaked as be bounded across the empty space. If she made it to her car, it would be too late for him to stop her from walling herself up again. He threw open the door so hard it slammed back at him. He barely noticed it as he fought to keep his balance and not run into Lilly at the same time. She was standing at the top of the steps with her hand on the handrail, one foot lowered to the step below. She wasn't moving; it was like she'd been suspended mid-step.

Once he was sure he wasn't going to fall and send both of them flying down the stairs, he stepped to the side to peek at her face. Her eyes were staring straight ahead with the same lost look she'd had throughout the case.

"Lil?" He reached out, laying his hand on her shoulder.

She turned to him, her eyes slightly unfocused as though she was just waking up. "Scotty?"

He'd been concerned before that, but he grew even more worried that she'd managed to get lost in her thoughts so quickly. He'd seen her upstairs only a few minutes earlier. "Are you ok?"

He expected her stock answer - an unconvincing shrug and a half-hearted smile. Instead she just stared at him. He found her stare inviting because he'd never known her to not brush him off if she possibly could. "Lil?"

She stared at him, the lost look slowly fading into one of gratefulness. The corners of her mouth quirked up the slightest bit. "I want to forget, Scotty."

He'd never been more proud of himself than he was at that moment. Se trusted him completely if she was willing to make a statement like that. He smiled at her, nervously reaching out to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes didn't waiver from his despite the contact and she didn't flinch away. Encouraged, he grew bolder, reaching down to entwine their fingers. "Come with me." She offered no resistance, only light pressure on his hand as she held on to him.

He wasn't sure where he found the audacity to hold his partner's hand, especially not when they were at work where they were bound to be seen by any number of people. He didn't dare let go, however, because he didn't want her to close back up, because he didn't want her to think she couldn't depend on him when she needed support, and, if he was being honest with himself, because he loved the way her touch made him tingle all over.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Should only be one more part! My aunt's back in the hospital, but I promise I'll post the rest as soon as I can!_

Chapter Two

A few blocks away and around a corner, Scotty led the way into Joe's. At one point in its history, if a person was drunk enough to listen to Joe and sober enough to remember, Joe's had been the "it" place to go for a drink. It had been so popular that people would crowd together, too close to dance, listening to music that was too loud to talk over, and get drunk on whatever grossly overpriced cocktails were in that season. Joe had been a young man then, reveling in the thrill of owning the best bar in town.

Joe was no longer a young man, his heavily lined face revealed too many years of smoking and smiling. The melancholy face seemed somehow even sadder with the ghost of better times so obvious. Joe's hadn't fared even as well as its owner. It wasn't popular any longer, hadn't been for so long that no one besides Joe could even remember that it had been. The tables were stained and scratched and leaned perilously to one side or another. The chairs which surrounded them were torn and mismatched and offered the prospective customer the impression that a sign was hanging somewhere inviting them to sit at their own risk. The dark, cluttered walls were even worse than the furniture, filled with decades old signs whose lights had died before Joe's hair had turned gray.

Joe's was exactly the place to be for people who didn't want to be anywhere. Conveniently, it also housed the tools, whichever poison one preferred, for those very same people to not have to think either.

It was a place Scotty knew well. He'd buried a lot of demons in empty bottles. He wasn't a fan of drinking to excess usually, certainly not following his recent scrape with losing control, but he knew there were times when it was the only way to survive. And as long as those times were few and far between, he wasn't going to deny Lilly's request.

As he pushed open the door and stepped into the dismal room, Scotty felt a moment's hesitation from Lilly. He was much more in tune with her than he normally was and turned back to check on her. She looked confused, but Scotty could see her eyes searching for some indication that the bar was still operational. He squeezed her hand tighter for a moment. "Joe's always here." She followed him wordlessly as he headed for a booth against the back wall.

"Hey, Joe." He didn't slow down or even look; he knew Joe was standing at the end of the bar, resting on his elbows as he always did. Scotty was sure, if anyone was ever able to pry Joe away from that spot, that there would be an indentation from all Joe's years of leaning on that exact location.

"Scotty." Joe's depressed answer barely reached his ears by the time they sat down.

Once seated, Scotty looked around. He felt eyes on him, which he attributed to the two resident drunks who'd pulled their heads off the bar long enough to notice him. Their eyes weren't directed at him, he realized; they were looking at Lilly.

Joe's wasn't a place a man would take his date, not if he wanted to see her again. Joe's wasn't a place a woman who'd bathed and brushed her hair inside of a week would hang out, not on purpose. The two customers and Joe were staring at Lilly and Scotty could practically hear them questioning their sobriety.

Hell, he'd done it plenty of times - looked up and saw a beautiful angel smiling at him. Sure he knew her, but he still couldn't quite believe Lilly's ethereal beauty had any place in his life. He smiled at her, meeting her eyes in the dim light. She either hadn't noticed or didn't care about the audience as she looked back at him.

"You want to change your mind?" He could help her forget, but she'd be on her own with the memory of forgetting banging on the inside of her skull in the morning.

She shook her head quickly, so quickly Scotty believed she was afraid she'd back out. "No. I just don't want to think about it." Her nervous, twisting hands belied her words.

"Coming right up." He smiled his usual, cocky smile at her and was immediately rewarded with her relaxing a bit. He wondered about it as he made his way back to Joe, realizing that she was as used to him as he was to her. He was nervous because she wasn't herself; she was nervous in turn because he wasn't himself either.

He returned to the table empty handed, drawing a questioning look from Lilly. He smiled and nodded as Joe followed a moment later with a tray. He watched with a real smile as Lilly took in the limes, the salt, and the shot glasses. Her eyes widened slightly as they drifted over the bottle of tequila on their way to meet his.

He opened the bottle and poured a shot for each of them. "I've tried about everything out there. This is the fastest way to forget anything."

She stared at the shot before her, her eyes giving away how very long it had been since she'd taken a shot of anything. "I'm not really much of a drinker, Scotty."

He nodded. He understood. With her mother's history and her slight frame, he doubted she'd get past two shots of anything. "It's ok. I can get you a beer."

She smiled ruefully and shook her head as a blush stained her cheeks. "I can't stomach enough beer to forget."

He grinned back as it became clear why she'd sit there on first Thursdays and nurse one beer until she went home. Then he winked at her and pushed the salt towards her. "You're a tough girl. You can take it."

She contemplated the salt. She contemplated the back of her hand. She blushed again, keeping her eyes a little lower than level with his. "I feel like an idiot."

He looked around. As he'd expected, the other three gentlemen had gone back to their own worries. "No one's looking." Not even at the woman Scotty could never quite pull his eyes away from.

She bit her lip as she thought about his words, finally turning her head to check for herself. She looked at the salt again, this time actually picking it up. "I still feel like an idiot."

"One shot and you won't care. I promise." He followed his words with actions, trying to rope her back in. He took the shaker from her hand, pretending he hadn't felt that familiar charge when his hand brushed against hers. He feared if she backed out, the way it was appearing she might, that he'd offer her a shoulder to cry on instead and he knew, when confronted with the choices, that it would be better to have the excuse of alcohol to fall back on to counter anything stupid or revealing or embarrassing that he might say if he ever had to deal with Lilly sobbing in his arms. And if he had to guess, he'd say that deep down, Lilly would prefer the same back door out of anything she might confess. They were safer behind their walls. The alcohol would provide a safe haven, a tunnel between them for a few hours.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

He was hiding it, but he still felt the nerves bristling inside of him. It wasn't merely the anticipation of getting drunk. It wasn't merely the excitement of getting drunk with Lilly. It was the way she was watching him. He could feel the weight of her eyes on him as he tried to play it down. But he knew exactly what she meant. It was kind of idiotic to lick the back of his hand and do shots with a woman he wasn't trying to seduce. He blocked it out as he concentrated on the taste of the salt and then on getting the liquid down his throat before he thought about it. The lime was easier, although he wasn't sure it was flattering to have lime juice running down his chin.

The tequila settled heavily in his stomach, but he welcomed it. It distracted him from Lilly's stare, from two precious murdered girls. He smiled as he pushed the salt toward her. "Better already."

She nodded, understanding that it wasn't the booze working that quickly, but rather the promise that the process had started. Oblivion was coming, he only needed to wait. Scotty watched as she mimicked his actions and he found himself wondering if just maybe in all her introverted, willful ignorance of what most other people did for fun, she had felt stupid because she hadn't known what to do. She'd admitted tat she didn't drink much and he knew she didn't make a habit of hanging out with the sorts of people who did tequila shots. He decided he'd ask if he happened to remember later.

His eyes were glued to her as she lifted her shot. Her throat worked convulsively to swallow it down. Her face had paled and when he held out a wedge of lime, she turned away and shook her head. He wasn't deterred.

"Trust me." He held the lime up to her mouth, practically daring her to bite it in his hand.

Her delicate fingers brushed his as she took the wedge from him, averting her eyes and placing it in her mouth. He didn't mind - they were still sober and he hadn't imagined Lilly would ever be so bold. He bit back a grin. Maybe later.

He waited until the color, a tiny blush, returned to her cheeks. "Better?"

She nodded. He guess she was only better from the fear that she would gag because her eyes still had their lost look. They narrowed slightly as she looked around. "It's quiet in here."

He'd never noticed before since his goal whenever he went there was to drink himself into a stupor, but there was no music. The TV that Joe always watched was muted. Scotty's eyes fell on an old jukebox. The unplugged cord lay limply on the floor, only a few inches from the electrical outlet. He shrugged at Lilly, then walked over to it. He glanced at Joe. Joe didn't seem to realize that anyone was there, so Scotty plugged it in. He watched the two other patrons as the music started to play. No one looked up.

Surprisingly, when he turned back to the table, Lilly was downing another shot. She squeezed her eyes closed and made a face that conveyed exactly how very much she disliked the tequila. He handed her another lime as he slid into the booth.

She smiled after a moment. "Thanks." Scotty couldn't be sure if she was referring to the alcohol or the lime.

Not about to be outdone, Scotty poured himself another drink. When he was finished, he sat back and stared at Lilly. He'd only had two shots - he wasn't feeling it yet. Lilly, on the other hand, seemed quite content. Her head was leaning back against the wall, her eyes closed, her mouth curled up in a smile. His eyes locked on her lips and he felt the familiar desire to kiss her. It wasn't a rare occurrence. He'd thought about it way too many times to even convince himself that he only thought of her as a friend. The only thing that normally stopped him was the idea that she'd slug him if e were to try such a thing. At the moment, however, he wasn't sure she'd object.

He managed to drag his eyes off her mouth, only to discover that her eyes had opened and she was staring back at him. His eyes widened, instinctively afraid of getting caught. His body tensed as he prepared for an assault - physical or verbal.

Instead, she simply smiled at him and he knew, in that moment, their rocky past was truly behind the. He could feel the connection between them, as strong as if it had never been broken. He realized it was probably stronger for the damage since they'd survived it. He smiled back.

They followed that round with a couple of beers, nursing the cold liquid giving them more time to enjoy the process before they were too far gone to enjoy it. Time seemed to get away from him as they sat there quietly, not talking at all. There was no need for words; they didn't need them to communicate when it was really important and they only got in the way between them the rest of the time.

Scotty polished off two more shots and he was hoping Lilly didn't notice how tightly he was gripping the table to keep it from spinning around. He was pretty sure she hadn't, though, because after her third shot, she'd started giggling at nothing particular. He wasn't normally a fan of women who giggled at him, and with the way she kept looking at him in between fits of giggles, he was pretty sure he was the source of her amusement, but he could hardly begrudge her a few moments of lighthearted humor. Letting her forget was, after all, the whole reason he'd taken her out.

After he found the bottom of his beer and the spinning table had relented somewhat, he decided it was time to go. Lilly's giggling had passed and, with the benefit of another half of a beer, she'd lapsed into a silence that Scotty feared would allow her mind to wander back where she didn't want it to go.

"You ready to call it a night?"

"It's probably time to call it a morning." Lilly lifted her arm and stared at her wrist for a long time. Then she laughed. "I'm not wearing a watch."

"No, you're not, Lil." Chuckling, he stood up. He dropped plenty more cash on the table than necessary before he held out his hand to Lilly. "Need help?"

She shook her head defiantly. "I can stand up on my own." She punctuated her sentence by pulling herself unsteadily to her feet. As if to further prove him wrong, she took a step forward and promptly lost her balance.

Catching her required more coordination than Scotty realized he possessed just then, but sure enough, the next moment found her pressed against him, his arms folded tightly around her. He smirked, unable to resist glancing at her lips and their close proximity. "You so sure about that?"

She laughed, but made no attempt to extricate herself from his arms. "I can stand up just fine. It's the walking I need a little help with."

On a normal night, even one involving alcohol, Scotty would have chosen to walk. But Lilly was surprisingly cumbersome for her petite size and Scotty was feeling far more intoxicated than he would have chosen to admit. He decided a cab was a good idea. They found one half a block away and climbed in the back.

The cabbie sized them up in the rear view mirror. "Where to?"

Scotty figured Lilly would definitely want to be at home, even though she didn't appear to have even heard the question. He knew he could crash on the couch, hopefully even waking up early enough to disappear before he had to face her and what would amount to a multitude of questions regarding why he was in her house. He started to give her address to the driver, but stopped suddenly. As fuzzy as his memory was, he clearly remembered leaving every dollar he had on the table. He turned to Lilly. "You got any cash?"

She stared at him for so long that Scotty knew she didn't know what he was asking. But just as he was about to start looking through her pockets himself, she produced a ten.

Scotty smiled at the cabbie and gave him Lilly's address.

The cabbie smiled back. "Ten bucks ain't going to get you there."

His place was closer, so he gave his own address.

The cabbie smiled. "Yeah, I can do that."

Lilly sagged against him as the cab started to move. His arm was still around her from when he'd helped her climb in the car without hitting her head. He could feel the warmth of her body through her thin sweater and his dress shirt. His eyes focused on the meter, staring at it until he couldn't see or feel anything else.

Her hand dropping onto his leg nearly made him jump right out of the cab. He took a few moments to make sure he was still in control before he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "That's not really a good idea, Lil." Scotty's intention had been to prevent the cabbie from overhearing, but as he lifted his eyes, he realized the cabbie had repositioned the mirror and was grinning, expecting that he was about to catch a good show.

He was so furious it took him a moment to realize Lilly hadn't answered. And she hadn't moved her hand either.

"Lil?" He leaned his head to the side, stealing a peek at her face. She was sound asleep. He gently moved her hand into her own lap and smiled to himself. She was awfully sweet when she was passed out in his arms.

Another moment ticked by and they were standing on the street outside his building. He'd let it go when the cabbie hadn't offered any change from the ten for the meter that read less than half that. He wasn't even sure they couldn't have made it to Lilly's on ten bucks, but he wasn't about the get into a fight when he was drunk. He'd used up all his get out of jail free cards when he was drinking too heavily the year before. He knew Stillman would have no mercy on him if he got popped for beating up a cabbie - and that was only if he could beat up a cabbie in his inebriated state.

Lilly woke up enough to try to walk as they headed for the elevator. Scotty laughed as their feet kept tangling together. Neither one of them was particularly able to walk, but eventually, they made it through his door. He considered the fact that they made it to the couch without falling a minor miracle. Scotty laid his head back against the couch, trying to summon up the sobriety to drag Lilly to his bed and then find his own way back to the couch.

"Scotty?" Lilly's voice sounded small and frightened, calling Scotty's attention immediately. He opened his eyes and saw her watching him. "Where are we?"

Stupidly, he looked around for a moment, almost unsure himself. "My place." He vaguely recalled the cab ride and how they'd ended up there. If it was hazy to him, he knew Lilly had no idea it had happened.

"Oh." She turned away from him, almost like she was checking to make sure he was serious. Then she turned back. "Why?"

The cab ride seemed even more distant than it had a moment earlier, so he just shrugged. "Sleep, Lil." The idea of putting her to bed no longer occurred to him.

She thought about it for a moment, or perhaps it just took her a long time to process what he'd said. In the end, she scooted down a little lower on the couch and rested back against him. They sat like that for a long time, both of them drifting in and out of consciousness. But he felt it when her body tensed suddenly, her fear waking him immediately.

She craned her head up to look at him. "It was bad. Those girls-"

He pressed his finger against her lips and shushed her. "You're supposed to forget, Lil."

Her eyes locked on his and he felt his heart soar at the affection he saw there. She smiled. "I did. Thank you."

Pretending to brush her hair from her face, he ran his fingertips lightly across her cheek. He wanted to blame the alcohol, but he wasn't sure that he could, when he leaned forward and just barely skimmed his lips across hers. "Good night, Lilly."

She bared her teeth in a wide smile before she tucked her face back against his chest. "Night."

He curled his arms around her protectively as he shifted them carefully until they were lying down. All the while, his arms kept their tight hold on her. He never wanted to let her go.


End file.
